13 And Worried I'm Addicted to Masturbating

Question: 13 And Worried I'm Addicted to Masturbating,

 Im 13 yrs girl and I masturbate once a day, I think im getting addicted to it. I hate myself after doing it cuz I dont know if it affects my body, Im scared of being addicted to something cuz it may affect my education!! I wanna know is it a bad habit? is it normal(or I'm different!!) ?

Answer:
13 And Worried I'm Addicted to Masturbating,

As children move into their tween and teen years, they will at some point become aware of various changes in their bodies, thoughts and feelings. Different changes will occur because of puberty and feelings and thoughts will become serialized in totally new way. These changes can be exciting and confusing.

Masturbating is actually a normal and common way for teens to explore their bodies as they go through these changes. It’s not a “bad habit,” it doesn’t mean anything is wrong with them, and it is rare for it to become any kind of problem that needs to be stopped or addressed in any way.

Healthfits would be concerned if you were masturbating in front of people, in public places, or putting any images of your masturbating online or in text messages.Healthfits  might also be concerned if you were masturbating so many times a day that it was interfering in some part of your life –

for example, spending less time with family and friends because of the amount of time spent masturbating or doing poorly academically because the amount of time masturbating was interfering with your getting your schoolwork done.

But as long as you understand that masturbation is something that should be done in private, and as long as the amount of time you are spending masturbating doesn’t interfere with other parts of your life (Healthfits sees one time a day as no cause for concern),

then Healthfits does not think you have anything to worry about. It is very common for teens to masturbate – so you are not different or abnormal in any way!
For more information, you can read Planned Parenthood’s information on Masturbation. There is information on why people masturbate, the benefits of it, risks, and common myths.

Comment And follow Us

Cursed With A High Libido

Question: Cursed With A High Libido,

I am a 17 year old male who has suffered from excessive guilt throughout my teenage years, due to a consistently high libido. This issue frequently appears in my dream content, since last night, approximately seventy-five percent of my dreams contained sexual content. Once, I even dreamed that I was cross-dressing.

This makes me feel highly stupid, as I feel like I should be able to effectively control my impulses. I once wrote a document titled '50 Reasons to Kill Myself', and a 'high-libido' was the eleventh reason on my list. I have probably masturbated over 900 times in my life-time, and attempted to quit this habit numerous times.

However, I cannot stop feeling stupid every time I fail to accomplish this task. I detest this self-characteristic more than any other personality trait I have, and desperately wish it would disappear. The reason: I am a major perfectionist, and this "negative trait" doesn't appear to match the ideal image I have of myself. My largest fear is that I will continue to masturbate into adulthood.

Please help me. Please don't simply respond that "masturbation" is a normal, healthy activity, because I can never seem to convince myself of this fact. I keep questioning "Why did I have to be cursed like this, and not someone else?"


Answer: 
From a health perspective as long as you know, "masturbation" is a normal, healthy activity,” we will not focus on that aspect. There are many behaviors that are normal but if they start consuming a person life and are unwanted they can be problematic.

Although you have tried several times you have not been able to get over the compulsion to masturbate which then leaves you with negative feelings about yourself. Being a perfectionist seems to make it much harder to deal with because like any compulsion or addiction you have not had any success controlling it. This is bound to leave you with a significant amount of anxiety which is most likely why your dreams are dominated by sexual themes. Typically dreams are a representation of unconscious conflicts that we are trying to work out.

Since your masturbation habit is causing you a considerable amount of anxiety and you have not been able to control it, then you really should seek help. There are therapists who specialize in sexual addictions or compulsive behaviors that can help you overcome this problem. It is a lot more common then you realize.

As far as being “cursed” you will find in life that many bad things happen to people that can’t be justified. It is not fair but fortunately you can do something about this.

To look for mental health services in your state log onto the US Department of Health and Human Services Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration and scroll over “Location” in the upper right hand corner and a drop down menu with resources for each state will appear.

do follow Us

Can Watching Porn Effect My Sex Life?

Question: Can Watching Porn Effect My Sex Life?,

I'm 18 and I'm suddenly a bit interested in Pornography pictures. I heard it can ruin my future sex life and make sex seem less desirable Is that really true? I enjoy looking at pictures of women, but I'm worried how it will effect my health. I masturbate too and I heard that it can ruin your sex life. I masturbate at least once a day. When I have a sexual partner, such as a wife, I feel like I should have a big sex life with her. Can you please help me!

Answer:

Teens and young adults who watch pornography are generally doing it out of curiosity about their bodies and about sex. And teens who masturbate are generally using a safe, normal means of learning about their bodies and what feels good sexually. That said, watching pornography and masturbating are not a guarantee of a ruined sex life. However, there are ways in which it can negatively affect it. To prevent this from happening, consider the following:

• Pornography generally does not portray what feels good for women – so it can give men who watch it a false impression about what is enjoyable for the opposite sex. If you go into sex with your partner only imitating what you have seen through porn, odds are it is not going to be a pleasurable experience for her. This is where communication between you and your partner will be key – talking with each other about what feels good for each of you.  
• Pornography is not the best place to take notes on how to make sex better. The positions portrayed in pornography are often used because they highlight the different sex organs – but that does not mean those positions are the best and most desirable. Again, communication is needed between partners to ensure both people are comfortable and finding pleasure in what they are doing.
• Remember that pornography is appealing to people’s fantasies. If you get too wrapped in porn and the fantasy of it, it might make the reality of sex less appealing. If you come to expect that you and your partner are going to look and act like porn stars in your own sex life, then you are probably setting yourself up for disappointment.
• Pornography is about sex, not feelings. Being intimate with someone you care about is not just about physical pleasure, but also about being emotionally intimate with someone you care about. This aspect of sex is important in relationships, and if your model of how sex should be is from pornography, you are missing out on an entire aspect of sex – the feelings and emotional connection that can be present between two people.   
• Pornography and/or masturbation can be an escape for some people. If watching porn and masturbating are taking a priority over being intimate with your partner, then there is reason for concern. You mentioned wanting sex to be a big part of your life with your wife one day. If watching porn or masturbating is taking you away from your sex life with her, or other parts of your life, it would be helpful to examine what is going on for you.
• How will your partner feel about your watching porn? Some women may feel that their partners are cheating by watching porn, others may take issue with the whole idea of pornography in terms of feeling that it exploits women, and then there are others who may be open to watching it. What are your partner’s values and beliefs when it comes to pornography and masturbation?

For more information, read Planned Parenthood’s Myth and Facts About Masturbation, as well as the response to the first question about pornography under their Sex Q&A.

Thumb sucking: Help your child break the habit

Thumb sucking can be a difficult habit for a child to break. Understand what you can do to help your child stop sucking his or her thumb.

Thumb sucking is a common habit among children. At some point, though, you might think, "Enough is enough." Here's help encouraging your child to stop the behavior.

Why do some children suck their thumbs?

Babies have natural rooting and sucking reflexes, which can cause them to put their thumbs or fingers into their mouths — sometimes even before birth.
Because thumb sucking is soothing to babies, some might eventually develop a habit of thumb sucking when they're bored, tired or anxious.
Many children who suck their thumbs or fingers do so while holding a treasured object, such as a security blanket.

How long does thumb sucking usually last?

Many children stop sucking their thumbs on their own sometime during the toddler years — between ages 2 and 4. For older kids who continue to suck their thumbs, peer pressure at school usually ends the habit.
Remember, though, even a child who's stopped sucking his or her thumb might revert to the behavior when he or she is stressed or anxious.

When should I intervene?

Thumb sucking isn't usually a concern until a child's permanent teeth come in. At this point, thumb sucking might begin to affect the roof of the mouth (palate) or how the teeth line up — especially if the thumb sucking is aggressive.
Consider stepping in if:

• Your child sucks his or her thumb frequently or aggressively after age 4 or 5
• The thumb sucking is causing dental problems, such as the upper front teeth tipping toward the lip
• Your child is embarrassed about the thumb sucking 

What can I do to encourage my child to stop thumb sucking?

Consider these techniques:

• Don't mention it. In some cases, paying no attention to thumb sucking is enough to stop the behavior — especially if your child uses thumb sucking as a way to get attention.
• Use positive reinforcement. Praise your child or provide small rewards — such as an extra bedtime story or a trip to the park — when he or she isn't thumb sucking. Place stickers on a calendar to record the days when your child successfully avoids thumb sucking.
• Identify triggers. If your child sucks his or her thumb in response to stress, identify the real issue and provide comfort in other ways — such as a hug or reassuring words. You might also give your child a pillow or stuffed animal to squeeze.
• Offer gentle reminders. If your child sucks his or her thumb without thought — rather than as a way to get your attention — gently remind him or her to stop. Don't scold, criticize or ridicule your child. To spare embarrassment in front of others, you might alert your child to the thumb sucking with a special hand signal or other private cue.

Can the dentist help?

If you're concerned about the effect of thumb sucking on your child's teeth, check with the dentist.
For some kids, a chat with the dentist about why it's important to stop thumb sucking is more effective than a talk with mom or dad.
In other cases, the dentist might recommend a special mouth guard or other dental appliance that interferes with sucking.

Should I try negative reinforcement?

Positive reinforcement is generally more effective than negative reinforcement. Resist the temptation to use aversive techniques, such as covering your child's thumbnail with vinegar or another bitter substance.

What if nothing works?

For some children, thumb sucking is an incredibly difficult habit to break. Remember, though, peer pressure typically leads kids to stop daytime sucking habits on their own when they start school.
In the meantime, try not to worry. Putting too much pressure on your child to stop thumb sucking might only delay the process.

Follow us for more tips

How To Guide: Shaving Chest Hair

If you’ve been shaving your chest hair for years, or this is the first time, you may learn some tricks for great results. We’ll help you get a close shave, while avoiding common problems like nicks, irritation and annoying razor bumps.

Difficulty: Easy

Time Required: 10-15 minutes for shaving chest hair

Here's How:

1. Choose your shaving cream or gel wisely. What you use has as much on the outcome of your shave the razor you use. I would recommend Brave Shave (read review), originally created for male body shaving.
2. A new quality razor is important. Stay clear of the straight, cheap disposables or you'll be asking for cuts and nicks. Instead use a razor with a pivoting head and multiple blades to give you a smooth, close shave. A a big favorite with the guys is Gillette Fusion (compare prices).
3. Trim, trim, trim . If you’ve never shaved, or haven’t in a while, it’s good to trim hair down as short as possible. You can do that by placing a comb flat on the skin and trim over comb with scissors. Or to make it quick and easy, use clippers with the shortest guard.
4. Jump in the shower and relax for five. Take a minute to breathe. Wash your body and your hair. The warm water will soften your hair and skin, allowing for a closer shave.
5. Exfoliate. By lightly sloughing away dead skin cells you will get closer results and minimize ingrown hair. Gently using a wet loofah will work great.
6. Use a bit of shaving oil. A couple drops under your cream or gel works as a barrier on your skin, so the razor will glide easier instead of dragging. It not only moisturizes,the oil also helps prevent razor burn, general irritation and ingrown hairs- all big offenders when shaving thicker hair like in the chest (compare prices).
7. Apply shaving cream or gel. Slather on a bit of cream or gel over damp skin. Skin that is too wet will make the cream run right down the drain. If you have a shaving brush, apply product using small circles.
8. Shave. Using a firm touch, shave in the opposite direction of hair growth while holding skin taut. Don't go over the same area too many times or skin can end up irritated.
9. Rinse. In between strokes, be sure to rinse blade. A clogged razor won’t work well.
10. Dry off. Pat skin dry and apply a light unscented lotion.
11. Keep the bumps away. Apply a product that will help keep ingrown hair, razor bumps and irritation at bay. A product such as Tend Skin (read review) will work wonders. If you don't use a bump-fighting product, be sure to exfoliate often.

Tips:

1. Watch the direction of hair growth. Your hair has a mind of its own. It will grow in every direction, so adjust the blade's shaving direction to get the closest results.
2. Be extra careful around the nipple area and collar bone or other curves in your chest. Take extra time in these areas and use short strokes.
3. If you're not going to shave your stomach or lower abdomen, at least trim hair down so there isn’t such a distinct difference.
4. If you don't want to use a manual razor, try an electric one made for male body shaving like Philips Norelco Bodygroom (read review)

What You Need

• Comb and scissors or clippers (if hair needs trimming)
• A new razor with multiple blades
• Gentle body exfoliator or loofah
• Shaving oil (optional)
• Shaving brush (optional)
• Shaving cream or gel
• Unscented lotion

How Do I Talk To My Boyfriend About The Pain I Experience After Sex?

Question: Me and my boyfriend have been going out for almost a year. And we are sexual active he is also my first. But we only have sex once or twice every two months. My only problem is it hurts afterwards. My vagina swells up and it hurts when I walk( which I think is a result form swelling). From researching my problem I think he may be doing it to hard/fast giving me little cuts and tears that could be swelling up. I really want to talk to him about it, so I don't have to have this pain afterwards but I don't know how :( I'm some what shy considering this is my very first sexually active relationship. I do enjoy having sex with him and i have no pain during sex.but afterwards the pain is awful. I have been relieving my self by icing my vagina over night which usually helps. So my question is: How do I talk to my boyfriend about sex so i don't have to experience pain afterwards.


Answer: 

Being able to talk about issues related to sex is a very important part of being in a sexual relationship with somewhat else. These discussions might include talks about sexual health history and preventing unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of STDs. If an STD is transmitted or an unplanned pregnancy occurs, discussions will be needed to address these issues. And talks about the sex itself – what a person is ready for, what feels good, what doesn’t feel good – are certainly important to have as well.

If a person feels too uncomfortable to have these kinds of discussions with their partner, then it might be an indication that person is just not ready to be sexually active. That said, if you feel truly not ready to have these kinds of talks with your boyfriend, you may want to consider that you are not ready to be sexually involved with him (or anyone else for that matter) and wait on sex until these conversations feel a bit more comfortable to you. If you do feel ready to talk to him about this issue and simply need some guidance, consider the following:

Tell your boyfriend that the two of you need to find some time where you can talk privately and without interruption. Let him know that you do enjoy the “during” part of sex, but that afterwards you experience a lot of pain to the point where you are actually icing yourself overnight to relieve the discomfort. 

 Tell him that you would like him to try and be gentler during intercourse the next time you have sex to see if that helps, and talk with him about your seeing a doctor about this as well. The fact is that if your boyfriend cares about you and respects you, he will want to know about this because he wouldn’t want you to be in any kind of ongoing pain – and he will want to do whatever he can to ensure that you are not in pain or discomfort around sex.

If you haven’t met with a gynecologist or adolescent medicine specialist, Healthfits does recommend that you do so for the following reasons:

·         You can speak to your doctor about the pain you are experiencing to get an idea about whether this is simply a result of the sex being too fast or too rough, or whether there is any underlying medical issue which needs to be addressed.

·         Once you become sexually active, it is a good idea to have regular gynecological exams.   

·         If you have not already, you can get educated about protecting yourself from unwanted pregnancies and the transmission of STDs, and check in with your doctor that you are using the best and most appropriate methods of birth control to protect yourself from these things.

If you don't have a doctor and live in northern New Jersey, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973-971-6475 for an appointment with an adolescent medicine specialist or contact your local teen health center or Planned Parenthood. You can also contact your insurance company for a list of in-network providers. 

  comments and join blog.

Person Giving Oral Sex had a Cold,

Question: I  received oral sex, I then found out the person giving me oral sex had a cold. I vaguely remember a teacher saying that if you received oral sex from someone with a cold, that it could turn into herpes (he claimed it was the flu/cold of the penis). Is this true? My partner just has a cold, not herpes or anything.

Answer: 

You cannot transmit the herpes virus unless you have the herpes virus. So someone who has just a common cold without the herpes virus is not going to spread it. They are 2 separate viruses that affect the body much differently.

What you may remember your teacher talking about is that you can get the herpes virus if someone who is infected performs oral sex on you who has an open cold sore. There are basically two types of herpes: Herpes simplex virus-1 (HSV-1) is the virus that causes cold sores, the small and painful blisters that usually appear on or around a person’s lips. Herpes simplex virus-2 (HSV-2) is the virus that causes genital herpes.

Here is some important information on how HSV-1 is transmitted and important facts to be aware of:

·         HSV-1 spreads through direct contact with another person. This can include skin to skin contact, as well as contact with oral or genital secretions (like through kissing, as well as vaginal, oral, and anal sex).

·         If a person has HSV-1 and gets cold sores around the mouth, it is possible to transmit the virus during oral sex, causing HSV-1 outbreaks in the genital area of the person’s partner.

·         HSV-1 can be spread by sharing a cup, utensils, or lip balm/lipstick with someone who has HSV-1.

·         HSV-1 can be spread if a person touches a cold sore and then touches a mucous membrane (such as in the nose, mouth, eyes, or vagina) or area of the skin with a cut on it. Because of this, it is very important never to pick, punch, or squeeze a cold sore. In general, it is best not to touch cold sores.

·         It is especially important not to touch your eyes after touching a cold sore as HSV-1 can do a lot of damage to the eyes. If you have touched a cold sore, have a cold sore, or around someone who has a cold sore, it is advisable to frequently wash your hands.

·         HSV-1 is most contagious when a sore is present, but it can still be passed on even if you cannot see any sores.

·         Cold sores can turn into bacterial skin infections if not taken care of properly and can even be dangerous for those with weakened immune systems (such as people with cancer, HIV, or for small infants).

Your partners claim “it was the flu/cold of the penis” sounds suspicious. If your partner had any open sores on his body or you have any concerns you were exposed to the virus you should have yourself tested. The majority of people who've been infected with HSV never know they have the disease because they have no signs or symptoms. The signs and symptoms of HSV can be so mild they go unnoticed.  

You can be seen for testing and a medical evaluation confidentially at a teen health center at a low/no cost fee.  In Northern New Jersey area, you can call the Adolescent/Young Adult Center for Health at 973.889.6350 for an appointment or call your local Planned Parenthood